Almost no 4

A few months ago we got the good news that my wife is pregnant again. It was sort of a planned pregnancy, we decided not to use any kind of contraceptives and so after a month or so it was confirmed that Linda is carrying number 4.

Having had 3 children previously, we didn’t expect any problems with this one. We didn’t have any with the other 3 so we thought it would be the same this time around. Even during her first checkup with the doctor, they reported everything was normal. A little lump in her ovary growing every day. On the second checkup however, the doctor noticed something strange about the fetus. First she said its size is too small compared to the pouch that contains it. Then she said she suspected something else was growing next to the first one. Could we be having twins this time?

So the doctor did a transvaginal ultrasound which does a more thorough scan and can detect any abnormalities with the fetus. As I was waiting outside for the test to finish, the doctor suddenly called me in and told me the bad news. Our fetus apparently didn’t have any heartbeat and quite possibly my wife already had a miscarriage some time ago. We were dejected with the news but still the doctor at the clinic advised that we should confirm the miscarriage with an O and G specialist at a hospital.

That’s what we did. We set an appointment with a doctor in a hospital in Puchong and the specialist all but confirmed the miscarriage. According to her the miscarriage happened over a month earlier and the baby didn’t even get the chance to develop further than the embryonic stage. She even said that had the pregnancy gone through, there’s a good chance the baby will have birth defects like incomplete organs, down syndrome or other abnormalities. So in a way, this miscarriage is a blessing in disguise for us? We asked the doctor what could have caused the miscarriage and she said it got nothing to do with Linda’s diet or active way of life or anything. Sometimes nature just takes it course and decided that it’s not gonna happen with baby no 4 this time.

Since the fetus (embryo?) is dead for quite some time, it is imperative that we remove it as soon as possible or else it might be toxic to the mother’s body. The doctor opted to do a surgical abortion where she will apply a gentle suction to remove all of the pregnancy tissue. The procedure took about an hour and after that I took Linda home to recover the very same day.

The doctor gave Linda a week off from work. Was she sad? Of course like any mother who lost their child. Depressed? A bit, yes but that’s it. Had it been our first child we would be more affected by the miscarriage but it is our number 4. And the fact that the baby could have been an abnormal one, I guess it’s best for everybody. Adam cried when he found out we had lost his little brother (or sister) but Mia and Hana were too young to understand. Will we be trying for another one? Who knows. Maybe. The doctor said to give it at least 2 months before we try again but even if my wife gets pregnant before that, it’s perfectly okay. We’ll see about that I guess.